Late night thoughts on endings

Long time no see, but I suppose that’s real life for you; it gets in the way and demands your attention.

Part of this thing has been sitting in my drafts for quite some time now, with me being worried whether it will read as too personal or not, but I’ve changed my mind. All my writing (and I feel that is the case for most people who write as well) comes from a very personal space. A thing has to mean something to me, if I am to write a public blog post or a story about it.

So, without further ado, let’s talk about endings. If you want the short version, I personally think they suck. But, the long version, well, it’s a bit more complicated.

2018 has been a year of endings; and I don’t mean just on personal level, I feel there were lots and lots of endings around me in general. Planned, unavoidable, unexpected, saw-it coming, they all sucked. 

[Edited to add: There are some things that make you sigh with relief once they end, but this post is not about those.]

Moving forward, endings have a sneaky nature; even the ones you saw coming, still catch you unaware, and you are left with huge gaping holes in your heart, trying to reset your entire life while wondering what the hell happened.

Last weekend, I stumbled upon a documentary about a woman who was involved in a project she loved for ten years; it took a lot of her time and work and then she had to step down due to a series of personal reasons. Having been involved in a project that ran for many years, I am well familiar with the “now what?” feeling you get once it’s finished, and how long it takes to get your life reorganized again (because, honestly, you suddenly have a huge amount of free time, and you have to figure what to do with it). I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have felt like, stepping down from something she loved dearly.

Still though, life is like a book; in order to get to the next chapter, you have to turn the page. And in order for that book to make sense, you can’t skip chapters. Even the ones that end on a cliffhanger, they are part of the story. They might suck, but they need to be there, and, eventually, they make sense too.

And the nature of life is such, that an ending will be, sooner or later, followed by new “wow” moments; which is simultaneously both great and sad. Great because you are growing as a person and having new experiences, and sad because the thing that ended, was, at some point, a “wow” moment as well.

On a closing note though, you must remember that as you work your way through your story, you carry those past chapters with you; keep that in mind and always remember the lesson they taught you. But, trust me, you will be surprised at how many things that supposedly ended, find their way back into the story again, in a new form. Because, surprisingly, some things are not meant to end, ever; and that’s a lesson too.