You can be polite and still be real

I’ve been using the internet since its baby phase, where the connections were dialup and just one song took hours to download.

So I am well aware that sharing an opinion online, about anything basically, can potentially cause a lot of controversy and unnecessary drama, which both are things nobody wants and needs, but this is something I am honestly confused about.

Lately, on many different occasions, I’ve come across the following phrase: Say what you feel, it's not being rude, it's being real.

At first I didn’t think much of it, but as I was coming across it more and more, the more it got me thinking about it.  For me, the opposite of being real is being fake, and the opposite of rudeness is politeness, so I honestly cannot understand how being rude equates with being real.

In my opinion, rudeness has nothing to do with realness and these two should not be mixed up. People should not use realness as an excuse to be mean and offensive. True, you can feel any way you want about things; and, also true, you have the right to express those feelings. But you don’t have the right to express them in a way that’s offensive.

That is a choice you make. How something is worded, is up to you and you alone. You can be hurt, angry, disappointed, you name it, and still be polite. Bitter and mean words won't add anything to your realness; they'll only make you sound bitter, mean and pretentious. 

Additionally, once said, words can never be taken back. You can regret them, apologise for them, but no matter what, they will always have been uttered. And people may forgive you, but they will always remember what you've said and how you've made them feel.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

Take care, 

M.