Long time
no see, but I suppose that’s real life for you; it gets in the way and demands
your attention.
Part of this thing
has been sitting in my drafts for quite some time now, with me being worried whether
it will read as too personal or not, but I’ve changed my mind. All my writing
(and I feel that is the case for most people who write as well) comes from a
very personal space. A thing has to mean something to me, if I am to write a
public blog post or a story about it.
So, without
further ado, let’s talk about endings. If you want the short version, I personally
think they suck. But, the long version, well, it’s a bit more complicated.
2018 has
been a year of endings; and I don’t mean just on personal level, I feel there
were lots and lots of endings around me in general. Planned, unavoidable,
unexpected, saw-it coming, they all sucked.
[Edited to add: There are some things that make you sigh with relief once they end, but this post is not about those.]
Moving forward, endings have a sneaky nature; even the ones you saw coming, still catch you unaware,
and you are left with huge gaping holes in your heart, trying to reset your
entire life while wondering what the hell happened.
Last
weekend, I stumbled upon a documentary about a woman who was involved in a
project she loved for ten years; it took a lot of her time and work and then she
had to step down due to a series of personal reasons. Having been involved in a
project that ran for many years, I am well familiar with the “now what?” feeling
you get once it’s finished, and how long it takes to get your life reorganized
again (because, honestly, you suddenly have a huge amount of free time, and you
have to figure what to do with it). I can’t even begin to imagine what it must
have felt like, stepping down from something she loved dearly.
Still though,
life is like a book; in order to get to the next chapter, you have to turn the
page. And in order for that book to make sense, you can’t skip chapters. Even the
ones that end on a cliffhanger, they are part of the story. They might suck,
but they need to be there, and, eventually, they make sense too.
And the
nature of life is such, that an ending will be, sooner or later, followed by
new “wow” moments; which is simultaneously both great and sad. Great because
you are growing as a person and having new experiences, and sad because the
thing that ended, was, at some point, a “wow” moment as well.
On a
closing note though, you must remember that as you work your way through your story, you carry those past
chapters with you; keep that in mind and always remember the lesson they taught you. But, trust
me, you will be surprised at how many things that supposedly ended, find their
way back into the story again, in a new form. Because, surprisingly, some things
are not meant to end, ever; and that’s a lesson too.